Hahaha, yes I think the title is interesting too. Grab a nice cup of tea, get cozy and enjoy the telling of my very first melt down in El Salvador. Y'all might think that this whole missionary lifestyle is easy, let me tell you, some of the simplest things, can turn into an emotional roller coaster! Like my experience in a grocery store this past Friday. Yeah! The GROCERY STORE!
We will start from the beginning. I had a wonderful Friday at the office, I had finished up some paper work I had been doing for days, had an enjoyable and beautiful day and simply wanted to stop and get some fresh veggies and fruit on the way home from the office. I asked our driver, who said it would be no problem at all!
I walked into the store, and was thrown into chaos. I love chaos, thrive in it actually, not today! I couldn't find some basic produce I was looking for, searched and was disappointed to find out that a spanish country didn't have Taco seasoning, (what is wrong with these people) I forgot to weigh my produce myself, was still coming to terms with the fact that sour cream just doesn't exist here ( which still bothers me more than you can imagine) and found victory when stumbling across Campbell's tomato soup! Which is the end gave me more trouble than it should have. I walked up to the counter, unloaded my basket and waited my turn. Of course my produce got hauled away to be weighed, priced and bagged (wasn't aware we had to do that), my soup wouldn't scan, so the poor bag guy had run and get another can, which also didn't scan, which led to three more people joining us to try and figure out the major soup issue. Starting to get anxious, I felt bad about how long this was taking. Just when the soup finally got scanned, I had asked for the wrong receipt, which meant we needed another three cashiers to create an account for an invoice, all while I get stared at for being a white person in an all spanish town, who couldn't figure out what she wanted, let alone try and tell the poor women at the counter in my seriously lacking spanish. It was awful.
We finally made it out of the store (barely) and headed towards home, at a crawling pace in what was now rush hour madness. Exhausted, hungry and mentally drained, I barely held back tears when walking through the door at home. I dropped my bags to the counter and did what every girl does in a time of need and comfort. I called my mom! I dialed the number and sat on the patio as it rang, at this point I was ok, it wasn't until she said hello that I lost it. My trickling tears turned into breath taking uncontrollable sobs. The poor women!! Her youngest daughter so far away in a dangerous country, doing dangerous work, calls her sobbing, her first thought is, are you alive and what happened? I was fine physically, I wasn't shot or injured or dead, all worthy assumptions in a place like this. I had gone grocery shopping. Yes grocery shopping. I had simply gotten overwhelmed at the magnitude of this life I am living here in El Salvador! We talked it out and ended the conversation laughing and feeling encouraged.
This is how this situation would have played out at home. I would have left work on time, gone to the local No Frills in my car, by myself. Found my taco seasoning (on sale I might add), got my produce, FOUND SOUR CREAM, walked to the counter, laughed with the cashier, said hello to a friendly neighbor and walked out. I would have enjoyed this little outing, that just happens to be one of my favourite things to do. I could stroll the aisles for hours!
Not here. Here it's all different. My favourite outing turns into an emotional meltdown! Some times the littlest things, explode with emotions all over the place! It's part of the job here. Things that are supposed to be easy, aren't always. Some times you just need to call your mom and cry. With her love and wise words of reassuring encouragement, I make it through another day in this crazy country. Through it all, God is strengthening me, helping me through here, all while nurturing my relationship with my wonderful mother, who is far away back home!
He will never give us more than we can handle. When life rages on, He will sustain us in His open, loving arms! Whether that storm is dealing with the horrible situations I am surrounded by every day, or the simple things like lizards in the house, and bad grocery store experiences! He carries us through it all, and reminds us how loved we are. When we doubt, He reminds us that even though we may not know where we will be in a year, for today, He needs me here, and if I'm needed here, He will insure I make it through today.
Love and Prayers
Erica Byleveld
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight
Proverbs 3 5,6
