Tuesday, June 6, 2017

God Moments

As I sit here and write this post, I am once again amazed by how fast the time really does go. Just as April was coming to a close, May managed to rush right by us. June marks 6 months of my Internship here at MTES (Mission To El Salvador) finished, and I have to tell you, not only has the time flown by, but I truly have learned so much in a now seemingly short time. I have had the privilege of watching those I have served with grow day after day. I have had the opportunity to meet wonderful people and build truly beautiful and meaningful relationships, ones that I plan on having prosper through the coming years. I also have begun to notice the ways I myself am growing, changing and transitioning
. Things that once seemed so important have sort of drifted away, while other things have prospered and grown. All in Gods timing, all in Gods plan. I have had wonderful days filled with joy and I have had horrible days filled with pain and sadness. It is all part of this growing season of life I am in, and this place where I am doing the growing. I have promised my readers, no matter how few, that during my time here on the missions field I would do my best to be open and honest. It is not always easy and it is not always pretty, but it is real, and I for one think that should count for something. I truly feel that God has called me to serve way out here in the Jungle, and I also feel called to share my journey with you folks as well, so sharing I will do.

This month has been an interesting one that is for sure. God has done a wonderful job of showing me just how important these months of relationship building have been. I said good bye to my dear roommate Grace, and let me just say, it was tough. We spent the first two months here just her and I and took quite a liking to each other, Grace being the younger sister I never had. We shared so much laughter and our share of tears too, so many special moments perfectly ordained to strengthen and encourage each other. To love one another and be there to support the other when one of us was ready to pack up and just buy that plane ticket home. Most of all however, I will miss the practical jokes! I for one, took pleasure in hiding in dark corners or quite frankly in plain view, just to get a scare out of Grace, which left us both in tearful laughter! She however,  has been successful in retaliating by leaving me a wonderful scavenger hunt of notes throughout the house, well played Grace, well played. All in all, we have had a wonderful five months together growing together as sisters in Christ. I cannot wait to see the path in which God leads her, but will dearly miss having her here by my side. As Grace was leaving, in came Leanna! She has joined us for two months to volunteer with our homeless program (El Faro).  I am so glad that God has brought her into our lives, and am loving watching Him work in her life. She is a wonderful edition of fun to our household and we are enjoying having her here immensely.

Starting in May, I also have been spending more time in our New Dawn program (our drug and alcohol rehab house for children) and I am enjoying getting to know each of our wonderful boys. We have three boys ages 16 and 17 as of now and many more taking part in our lengthy admissions process. I have the honor of teaching a pastry class during the week, as an opportunity for these boys to learn a new life skill, and to enjoy some of their time while in detox. I have come to know each of them personally, bits and pieces of their stories in my very broken Spanish, and have been given a glimpse into the life they used to live. It brakes my heart to sit and hear these stories. Stories of pain, heart ache, abuse and their horrid tales of life on the streets. Each moment that passes, these boys find a small way to steal my heart. I love getting to know each of their personalities and after working alongside them, we have developed quite a beautiful friendship,no matter how mischievous they are . I continue to pray for the rehabilitation of not only these children but also the relationships they have with their families. I ask that even though you don´t know their names or faces, that you to stand beside my in prayers for their lives, and for the lives in the process of being admitted to our program. 

This month has been a wonderful month, but also one filled with tough times too. Each day I am surrounded by a world of hurt and fear, there is violence and pain everywhere I look. If I can´t see it in the unimaginable amount of homeless people we see and serve, I can close my eyes and hear it in the yelling and gun shuts that ring out into the night. All these things can so easily leave a person heart broken. I myself have to do my best to put aside my feeling and thoughts in my work time in order to be efficient and capable of serving, all while keeping the balance of not pushing those feelings so far down as to not acknowledging them. It´s so easy to get caught up in the sadness. For example, I had the privilege this week of helping out one of our partnering organizations to help prepare their new facility for orphan children. The space that they were moving into was in need of some serious tender love and care, and a serious deep clean. Myself and a group of others had the opportunity to  spent a day helping out by painting, cleaning and gardening. As I walked through the building I couldn´t help but feel sad, not fully sure why, I asked my boss what this place used to be used for. He replied that this particular building had been used as a place for children with HIV/AIDS, as I walked through the building, I noticed a set of built in baby bathing stations, something that I have never seen before, indicating that a lot of these children were awfully young, most likely babies. This was something that once again made me simply stop. A second, to just stop what I was doing and give myself just a moment, to let the tears well up and to just feel. Actually feel my heart break, and for people I don't even know. As I walked through the building, refreshing paint cans and sweeping floors, my mind wandered to thoughts of how many beautiful young lives had been lost in this abandoned  building filled with such bright colours, something that I thought interesting, such bright colours. I thought how strange is was that this place wasn´t part of a hospital either, more just a building tucked away, forgotten. I grieved for the lives lost in that place, lives I didn´t have the opportunity to know, the families of these children possibly left behind. In the next moment, I prayed for the children that would soon be coming to this place, that are hurt and afraid, that they hopefully would feel Gods love somehow.  I prayed that even though I could only spend a day with a paint brush, that maybe one child would see this simple bright wall of green and be encouraged that God sent someone to care about the environment they were being brought into as their new home, to bring a smile to their face and to show that they were cared about. That day, was in itself, a season. A time of one work transitioned to another, and I got to be a part of it. That dear friends, was a very tough day.

God shows us tough days, He doesn´t make our time here always easy or always fun. We need to see the full truth in order to have our hearts see the need for change. God also provides good days. Another day I had recently was also one of those days where I get to see God at work, first hand, in practical ways. A "God Moment". One of the boys I had met early on in my time here came around to visit the office. This boy was a child living on the streets for years, who, to say has lived a tough live, is the understatement of the year. He was not able to join our rehab program due to his age (being 18 and therefor no longer a minor) we were unable to process his admission. He was however admitted to a different addictions and rehabilitation program. Praise God. It had been three months since I had seen this particular boy. The moment he walked in our doors, and gave me a quick hug and hello, I honestly did not realize it was him. It wasn´t until my boss told me that this clean, healthy, glowing boy with shiny shoes and a smile that could melt your heart, was actually in fact that same small boy that had not so long ago been riddled with disease and pain. I was speechless, which if anyone knows me, has never really happened, I am a women of so many words. My heart could not stop the smile that spread across my face. We saw it! This thing that we are a part of, it works! We are being used by God to change lives. We are changing lives when we submit our lives to Gods purpose! That day, I got to see with my very own eyes, God at work, and the fact that I get to play a hands on part in this moment in time, brings tears to my eyes, and an unspeakable joy to my heart. These days. These are the days I have to remember on those days when the pain and heartache threatens to overwhelm me. These are the days that I treasure. The days I get to physically see God, with my very own eyes. These are the days that make all the other days,  completely worth it!

I pray that God reveals Himself in those moments in your days too. I pray that you come along side of me in prayer and support, caring for the hurt and the broken of this world, here in El Salvador and where ever you are.

Love and Prayers

2 comments:

  1. Praying God will continue to give you strength and perseverance, and for His love to overflow from you to all those around you. Love you Erica!
    Vania

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  2. You articulate so well your experiences, Erica. Such a joy and heartache to read your updates. God is moulding you into an even more beautiful young woman! Love you to bits! xo

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