"Welcome Home"

Well. I did it. I got on the plane. I will be honest, it was tough. I am so blessed to have a family of supporters that I love so much. We arrived in San Salvador airport at 7:30, made it through immigration and security without any problems, that goodness! We drove to the guest house I am staying at for the duration of my trip here. It's huge! It fits up to 30 people, has wonderful porches and rooms over looking gorgeous San Salvador, and just happens to be on the side of a volcano! I got settled into my new room after a long day and saying goodbye to my travel partners. Then all alone in a big house, in a big city, in a new chapter, it happened. I sat down in bed and felt a feeling I didn't know I would. Peace. When I sat at home and envisioned this moment, I saw me bawling in a corner, questioning who in their right mind let me make this decision! Laugh all you want, I have had that experience before! But no, not this time. There were no tears this time. This time, I got ready for bed and slept peacefully.

I awoke to squawking birds, and a room full of sunlight. I had breakfast and got ready for the day! I got picked up by my dear friend Valerie (I have served with Val for 4 years before this trip) and we made our way to the MTES (Mission To El Slavador) organization. It is located in one of the toughest places in El Salvador due to it's proximity to the hospital and therefore, a large access to drugs! There were men sleeping on clothes in the street, garbage everywhere, rundown "houses'' every which way I looked. Something that still hits me, no matter how many times I see it.

I met the other staff members and got acquainted with my new work place. We made our way over to the New Dawn project. (New Dawn is a program made for children living on the streets with a drug and or alcohol addiction. a place they come to be nourished not only in food, but spiritually too) I walked into the gate, and was greeted by a volunteer. As we entered into the building, he looked at me, straight in the eyes, and he said it... "welcome Home". ... He could have chosen any sentence, but he chose that one. The same one God had spoken to me upon arrival here, just over a year ago. I will be honest. It terrified me.. I froze for a second, and after forcing myself to take a breath or two, I regained my composure. I walked normally to the table, where we sat and listened to the kids daily devotional. While I sat there, my stomach turned, my heart hammered and my lip began to tremble..  tears threatening to spill over at any moment. I can not loose it here. Not now. I will sit here and drink my water and breath.

We finished our visit, said goodbye and I walked to the car. Valerie and I chatted as we drove to a spot for lunch. Valerie is such a blessing in my life for many reasons, but honestly, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her. We talked about the struggles of this life we have chosen, and as we did, she told me that it's ok to be upset, in fact it's strongly encouraged. It's not something to take in lightly, nor should it be shoved down deep either. We have to be vulnerable and talk to one another. At that moment, I couldn't say anything. I could barely breathe as the tears poured down my face. I sat there in the car, sobbing. It's hard. It is so hard. I am so glad to be here and it feels right, but it is so hard! Valerie sat and cried alongside me. That's what we do, as christians, as women, as friends. We cry with each other, we share life with each other. It's the only way we can survive out here.

We pulled ourselves together and had a wonderful crepe lunch. I came home and unpacked, Skyped with family and friends and felt better. We had a wonderful dinner, and a good peaceful nights sleep.

You are probably wondering why "welcome Home" terrified me. Well, for many reasons. I knew going into this that, this experience was going to give me an idea if missions work full time was a good fit or not. That statement hit me right in the heart. Am I willing to give up all I have, for the sake of others, for the sake of Gods kingdom? Yes I packed up my bags, my life, said goodbye and got on a plane. But that plane goes both ways. Here, and back again, I always have an escape ticket, the hard part is, not using it..

I will get settled in. I will meet new people. I will make wonderful memories and serve God willingly. It will be rewarding.

It's still hard. It's still scary and it most definitely still hurts.

Then again it's supposed to.

Love and Prayers

Erica Byleveld